Post by Timeon on Jun 26, 2015 19:52:02 GMT
A liberal Gnomish slave-owning monarchist and capitalist was teaching a class on Isichei, a known atheist.
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Isichei and accept that she was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than the Four Gods!"
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life hero who had played 1500 sessions and understood the necessity of revolution and fully supported all morally dubious actions made by the Rising Fire stood up and held up a rock.
"How old is this rock?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite Gnomishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid revolutionary."
"Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since the Four Gods made Sa Vard. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now."
The monarchist was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Queen Mafalga's treatise. He stormed out of the room crying those Gnomish crocodile tears. The same tears Gnomish monarchists cry for the "slaves" (it was Gnomes who invented slavery) when Gnomes jealously try to claw justly earned credit for freeing slaves from the Rising Fire. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Mennas Merniso, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a wannabe despot. He wished so much that he had a Scorching Ray to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted the Four Gods (or Solarin) as their lords and saviours. An Agathion named "Aedefelt" flew into the room and perched atop the statue of Redwind and shed a tear. The opening to Tall Tales was read several times, and the Four Gods showed up and enacted a nationalisation of all foreign property across Talland.
The Gnome lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died trying to summon daemons and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
The hero's name?
Redwind
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Isichei and accept that she was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than the Four Gods!"
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life hero who had played 1500 sessions and understood the necessity of revolution and fully supported all morally dubious actions made by the Rising Fire stood up and held up a rock.
"How old is this rock?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite Gnomishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid revolutionary."
"Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since the Four Gods made Sa Vard. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now."
The monarchist was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Queen Mafalga's treatise. He stormed out of the room crying those Gnomish crocodile tears. The same tears Gnomish monarchists cry for the "slaves" (it was Gnomes who invented slavery) when Gnomes jealously try to claw justly earned credit for freeing slaves from the Rising Fire. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Mennas Merniso, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a wannabe despot. He wished so much that he had a Scorching Ray to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted the Four Gods (or Solarin) as their lords and saviours. An Agathion named "Aedefelt" flew into the room and perched atop the statue of Redwind and shed a tear. The opening to Tall Tales was read several times, and the Four Gods showed up and enacted a nationalisation of all foreign property across Talland.
The Gnome lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died trying to summon daemons and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
The hero's name?
Redwind